Going back to school clothes shopping last week, I found myself struggling with my preadolescent daughter to find the right “look”. She’s starting to define her own style, and I want to guide her into doing so. Throughout the two days of the “how about this?” and “what about this graphic tee?” , I kept hearing her say, “Mom, that one looks too girly.” I looked at her and said, “do you like your long hair and pink flip-flops?” She said, “yes”. I told her “long hair is considered girly and so are those shoes”, and she didn’t know what to say.
When she uttered the word, she made it sound like the word “girly” was something stuck to your shoe that you had to immediately remove. Although she innocently replied, it bothered me that the word, to her, had a negative connotation. There’s nothing wrong with being “girly”.
I’m trying to teach my daughters to be strong, independent women, and I’m also trying to teach them that being strong women doesn’t have to include an absence of femininity. And so far, both of them have embraced the strength and power that women can and should have in this world. By the time my oldest was in 3rd grade, she began to notice some sexist comments and inquired about them. I answered all of them and encouraged her to change the mindsets moving forward. Which leads me to my new thinking…change the definition of girly.
Throughout history, women have used fashion as a feminist strategy. The suffragettes used colors symbolically, the bobbed hair from the 20s was a sign of rebellion, and the miniskirt of the 60s represented a form of women’s liberation. All of those women were doing “girly” things to give girls a voice.
We give power to words. We ignite the connotation. I will teach them that anything “girly” should be embraced. I will teach them that strong women can still like fashion and make-up and rule the world. I will teach them that they don’t have to like fashion and make-up to rule the world.
Just another reason for all of us to listen to Beyonce, “Who run the world? GIRLS!”
Reference:
*How Women Have Used Fashion As A Feminist Tool Throughout History
mary van milligen 
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